Why Should I Forgive You?

It's practically impossible to go through life without being hurt by somebody. Most of us humans have a hard time letting go of such injuries and carry these scars of pain, resentment and anger with us for months, years, or even a lifetime.

Forgiveness can be a difficult concept to understand. I often hear, "If I forgive her, then she got away with what they did". Or, “Forgiving him would mean I accept what he did to me.” My response to this: “So, not to forgive is like taking the poison (continuing to suffer for what they did or didn’t do to you) and expecting them to die!”

In reality, forgiveness is not letting the person of the hook for what they did or didn’t do, it’s releasing the barbed hook that continues to cause you pain and suffering so your wound can heal. Forgiveness is one of the greatest acts of self love you can do.

Think about it…Anger, resentment and pain take a lot of energy. When there’s more energy going out than coming in, you are operating from an energy deficit. This sets you up for depression, disease, and/or chronic physical pain. If you are continuing to harbor “ill feelings” towards someone, who are you really hurting? YOU! So, I ask you, is this person worth all this energy you continue to give them?

Now you might be asking, “OK, I understand that forgiveness is something I do for me and my own healing, but how do I go about forgiving someone if all if feel is anger and pain when I think about this person? The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a perfect tool to use to get you to a place of forgiveness.

EFT can collapse the energy disruptions that trigger the emotional toxins when tuned into the hurtful event. When you no longer feel angry and resentful, you can gain objectivity and emotional distance from the event. This clarity will often lead you to a new perspective. Mostly pain begets pain. Whenever you have been the one who has been the source of pain for someone else, it is because you were in pain, right? When you recognize the person who hurt you must have been hurting terribly themselves, forgiveness comes much easier.

The Secret Behind "The Secret"

Since the movie "The Secret" came out, the Law of Attraction has been receiving a lot of attention. Mostly what I hear is "The Law of Attraction doesn't work for me."

A simplified definition of The Law of Attraction (LOA) is: “We attract from the outside what we resonate with on the inside.” We are constantly creating our reality. This is quite a scary thought to some - this concept that we are personally attracting what is showing up in our lives. Scary or not, we are powerful beyond measure. If we have the power to attract poverty, we have the power to attract abundance. If we have the power to attract conflict, we have the power to attract peace. The secret behind "The Secret" is congruence.

How the LOA really works, contrary to the positive thinking movement, is that we attract what we believe (not necessarily what we think). If your head is thinking "I want a million dollars", but your gut is believes "Rich people are selfish, and I'm not selfish," your head and your gut are not congruent. If your head is thinking, "I really want to lose weight", but your gut believes "I won't be safe if I lose weight", your gut will win out in the long run. When we have yes/buts about what we want, the BUT wins out every time. Remember, a but always negates what comes before it. Yes/buts indicate our mind, body, and spirit are not in alignment.

The most powerful evidence that a yes/but exists is self sabotage. If you've ever lost weight only to gain it back and then some, you have a yes/but about being thin. If you have ever received a large sum of money and then lost it with nothing to show for it, you have a yes/but about prosperity (this is why most lottery winners are broke in a relatively short period of time). If you have been in a wildly happy relationship but you believe all men are pigs or all women are money grubbers, you will sabotage the relationship to be in alignment with your belief.

In order to use the LOA consciously and effectively, discovering your unconscious beliefs that are driving your reality is a must. One way of becoming conscious of your yes/buts is to state what you want out loud and then listen to your self-talk about why you can't, or it isn't safe to obtain it. Here are some examples:

YES! I want to make more money BUT...
(Example: If I make too much money my friends will treat me differently.)

YES! I want to lose weight BUT...
(Example: I will get too much attention and that will make me nervous.)

YES! I want to improve my relationship BUT...
(Example: If I'm honest, he/she will leave me.)


YES! I want to expand my business BUT...
(Example: If I don't succeed I will be a failure.)

YES! I want to be in a relationship BUT...
(Example: My heart will get broken again.)

YES! I want a promotion BUT...
(Example: My coworkers will reject me.)

The next step is to apply EFT on your limiting beliefs. An example set-up phrase would be, "Even though I believe being successful means having to work hard, and I don't want to work that hard, I deeply and completely love and accept myself."

There are many nuances to using the LOA consciously and effectively. If you are ready to attract something particular in your life and can't wait to get started, you are welcome to contact me for a free 1/2 hour consultation at (727) 781-6567.